Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Things that go bump in the night

It is amazing how places that are pleasant during the day turn into pseudo dungeons of fear at night. I, for one, am getting a not-so-nice vibe from this old creaky building. Studying all alone in the history department in the dead of night is, in hindsight, maybe not the greatest idea I've ever had if you catch my drift. Things definately go bump in the night in this place and right now I just wish I had a proper party bladder and wasn't addicted to nicotine.
The thought of going to the loo or downstairs for a fag just brings back memories about every darn horror movie that I've seen. I recall movies like Copycat when I think about the toilet. The image of Sigourney Weaver hanging on to life while being choked by a psycho killer in a bathroom stall is the first thing that springs to mind. Also, they probably did a movie where some poor wench got wacked by an axe-murderer while indulging in a cigarette. I can't remember one right now, but Hollywood must have made one at some point. Not to mention the gazillion movies where female college students are attacked and/or chopped to bits by male chauvinist creeps wearing halloween costumes...
The solution is probably not the safety of my office, although I've bolted the door. My desk is by the window and I can just picture the ghost of Cathy in Wuthering Heights in the corner of my eye, all dead and super creepy, lurking around outside the window, begging somebody to let her in, 'cause baby it's cold outside.
I think that the answer to my paranoia is disco and then some more disco. By disco I don't mean Jacko's "It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark". What will save me from scaring the bejesus out of me is the joyful cd Saga Disco Funk and Imagination's "ooh ooh ooh ohh ahhhh it's just an illusion".

Ain't got time to take a fast train

I think it's time to forget about elections and start focusing on everyday life in Scotland instead. My first thought is to write about my incredibly long journey from Glasgow to St Andrews last sunday. Note to travellers: Do not ever travel by train on a sunday! EVER! My journey took 6 hours because there are fewer trains running on sundays and when they finally arrive they will stop in every city, village, outhouse, dog house and hen house on the way. This is lovely if you have had a decent night's sleep and have all the time in the world, but for the rest of us, nervous city folks who are always in a hurry, it is an utter nightmare.
So, I had to wait for a long long time in Queen Street Station for my first train. I was quite tired, in fact, too tired to go to Costa's for coffee or W.H. Smith's for a glossy magazine starring these fabulously classy gals, the cream of British tabloids, ms. Jade and ms. Jordan. That's one of the things I've missed about the UK, cheap mags filled with stories about people you've never even heard about, people that are basically famous for absolutely no reason whatsoever or people that are famous for being incredibly badly dressed, slutty types with as much brain capacity as an empty can of Tennants.
Anyway, I decided to watch the strange fruits of Glasgow instead and discovered that young train station Glaswegians are prone to dressing up like Goths. When I say Goths, I don't mean the Germanic tribe that roamed the forests of Europe back in the day and then gradually started dressing up in Lederhosen, no I mean the Goths that frequent cemetaries, dressed in black clothes, wearing white foundation and loads of black eyeliner, listening to Robert Smith and his buddies in The Cure. Yup, that's what I'm talking about and there were loads and loads of them at the train station that sunday morning. They were speaking a strange language that was difficult for me to understand, I think it's called banter... Highly enjoyable bunch these Goths and I give them a bunch of rock points for not caving in under the Chav pressure. Go Goths!
On the train I got the chance to examine the mating rituals of another group of young Glaswegians. They certainly weren't Goths but nevertheless spoke in the strange tongue of le banter. The leader spoke loudly about (from what I gathered) young females on the same train. When very pleased with the passers by, he suddenly changed from banter to English and shouted: "Woof! I will be your dog". Sometimes I wish I was an anthropologist so I could decipher the strange mating rituals of foreign races.
While waiting for the next train in Waverley Station, I was still too tired to read and started watching humans and canines. A really cute pooch left a stink bomb on the floor and an embarrassed owner tried meagerly to stuff some of the droppings into a plastic bag from Top Shop. If you ask me, she did a lousy job and then just hurried away, dragging the still-pooing dog behind her. So obviously my pass-time for the next forty minutes was watching people walk by and guessing which one of them would actually step on the doggy accident. To cut a long story short, about 45 minutes into the event the floor was a big brown smelly mess and I tip-toed into the next train, happy to be going back to the now undergraduate free zone of St Andrews.
Yes, my life is filled with excitement these days, sigh!

Monday, May 29, 2006

The last stand

The city has fallen into the hands of nature terrorists. The same environmental creeps that are responsible for sinking protected nature areas have joined forces and formed a majority in Reykjavík's city hall. This is the worst possible outcome of the municipal elections. Now not only do we have a corrupt government willing to sell their grandmother for yet another smelter, but the city that could have been a counterforce is now a playing field for these power-hungry war mongers that think nature is something that can be sold to the highest (or actually the lowest) bidder. The leaders of these same two parties agreed three years ago to put Iceland's name on the despicable list of the willing to invade Iraq. That decision was utterly illegal since it was made by two men without the consent of the Icelandic parliament and certainly without the consent of the Icelandic people.
With people like that controlling the city as well, I fear that soon more vulnerable nature areas will be offered to international corporations on the altar of greed. Alcoa and similar companies will be able to roam freely around our country building enormous polluting aluminium factories, emitting massive amounts of toxic fumes into the atmosphere. Even more birds, seals and reindeer will consequently lose their breeding grounds not to mention rare plants that will be lost. Renewable energy my arse! Just look at the cost; here are some photos of the land that will be lost forever in about three months time because of these "citizens" http://www.inca.is/photosiv2.asp?flokkur=kara.
These populists probably wouldn't mind the planet looking like a borg globe if it would get them a few votes, hence the picture of one to your left. The inhabitants of a country with a unique environment voted poorly and now nature will have to pay.
The other thing that hurts is that this new majority is not a real majority. These two parties only have 49% of the votes. This is not the will of the 51% of the voters and is therefore treason towards the inhabitants of Reykjavík and to democracy.
Now is the time to act. We have to rise up and object to this assault on democracy! We voted and we didn't vote for them dammit!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The municipal elections are almost over

I promise to start writing on more entertaining things soon. Until then I can only say: It's semi-snowing, it's really windy, it's super duper cold, I've got a new office with a view of the angry sea, I still haven't seen the mountain I'm supposed to be able to see from my new office window because the weather blocks the view, I'm going to Scotland this sunday, Dutch strawberries are very tasty and vote F for freedom, funky chicken and Frank Zappa.

Uno viso, omnia visa sunt...

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Æji, við við misskildum segja Bara Vinstri-Ekkert Græn

Enn á ný reyna vinstri græn i Reykjavík að eigna sér umhverfismálin.
Það er náttúruverndarfólk í öllum flokkum og kannski eru fæstir þeirra í VG í Reykjavík en þeir sem þar eru, hafa hæst, berja sér á brjóst líkt og fariseinn í samkunduhúsinu og hafa reynt að eigna sér umhverfismálin og baráttuna fyrir náttúru Íslands. Umhverfismál eru fjarri því að vera bara Vinstri græn.

Skoðum frekar orð og efndir í umhverfismálum í Reykjavík í langri VALDAtíð VG með R-lista.
Afrekaskráin er skelfileg
Nægir þar að nefna Orkuveituna í öllu sínu gróðabraski; orka til 3ja álvera, hlutafélag um Hrafnabjargavirkjun/eyðileggingu Aldeyjarfoss, undirbúning að rannsóknaleyfi í Kerlingarfjöllum, niðurhlutun Úlfljótsvatns í “frístundabyggð” – stjórnlaus ásælni í náttúru landsins á meðan “þeir grænu” sitja í stjórn og gera hvað? Sitja þar aðgerðalausir meðan stóriðjustefnan og græðgin er hvergi í meiri ham á landinu öllu.
ÆJJ segir oddviti þeirra við misskildum þetta - þess vegna styðjum við tillögu XD - æjj - sárt, af hverju komuðið ekki með hana sjálf - Skræfur


Íbúalýðræði hefur verið ofarlega á dagskrá undir formerkjunum "Samráð er eintóm sýndarmennska" lítur vel út að fundi og afraskturinn fer afar vel í skúffu. Þess vegna hafa íbúar séð sig knúna til að stofna íbúasamtök til að standa vörð um umhverfi sitt gagnvart verktakastjórnun borgarinnar, gróðabraskið hefur verið allsráðandi. Landsímalóðin, Túnin, Hrinbraut, Hliðarnar, Sundabraut, það er af nógu að taka.
Ekki við, við erum saklaus það voru hinir!!!


Vistvænar samgöngur hafa endurspeglast í mislukkuðum mislægum gatnamótum, ónýtu strætókerfi og kórónast í Hringbrautinni: Æjj segir annar á lista - afsakið ónæðið en þetta var allt misskilningur ; þurrkið hana út - hókus pókus allir að geyma að ég var í forsvari - Samþykkt?

Gleymum heldur ekki sorpmálunum. Reykjavík er undirlögð af rusli. Sorpustöðvum verið fækkað svo Sorpa skilar arði en íbúarnir þjóta um bæinn á einkabílum á nagladekkjum að losa sig við sorp – Frábær þjónusta það! Og svo gott fyrir gróðurhúsaáhrifin!
Vú-hú - er ekki fínt að það hitni svolítið? Hækka smá sjávarstöðuna og drekkja uppfyllingum andstæðingana!! Jibbíi

Og ekki má gleyma glæstum áformum um að þurrka út menningasöguna - Æji þessi ljótu litlu timburkofar við Laugveginn, rífum þá það er svo gott fyrir mannlífið að fá moll í staðinn. AÐ ekki sé minnst á skuggan sem hægt verður að skríða í og fela sig þegar framtíðin spyr hvað varð um menningarsöguna.


Geturðu nefnt EITT dæmi þar sem Vg hefur staðið sig vel í umhverfismálum í Reykjavík?
Geturðu nefnt einhver frambjóðanda hjá þeirra í efstu sætum sem hefur staðið með okkur í baráttunni fyrir náttúru landsins – Það er eins og það hafi ekki verið sami flokkur sá stýrir borginni og sá sem situr á Alþingi.
Flokkurinn sem verið hefur við borgarstjórn í öll þessi ár er BARA VINSTRI – og ekkert grænn

Skoðaðu málið -
Þeir sem skoða málið verða fyrir sárum vonbrigðum með VGR þar sem umhverfismálin eru notuð í atkvæðaveiðar korter í kosningar en efndir eru engar. Er eitthvað sem bendir til þess að það breytist? Verður ekki allt áfram byggt að misskilningi æðstu manna í VGR - kannski ætti einhver góðhjartaður að kenna þeim að lesa svona skýrslur og áætlanir til að forða frekari misskiliningi??

Lifið heil

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The problem with politics

I have a problem with politics. They seem to eat up most of my spare time these days. I spend a lot of time being angry at the candidates of various political parties. Ridiculous promises are being made, "Reykjavík airport will be relocated to a bunch of rocks in the ocean". Yippee! That's going to be cheap and really really practical, especially since the land is sinking and with global warming the oceans are rising. An increase of 1 degree in air temperature means that the ocean will rise approximately 1 meter.
I wonder whether politics should be strictly limited to historians who can point out that off the coast of the city, that every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to control, there used to be a prosperous settlement. What happened? It SANK! Understandably the candidate of the B Party doesn't understand this.. maybe it's because he was too busy getting ahead in politics to finish his history degree. Maybe the B people have a cunning plan to stop global warming and thus reversing the effects of increasing temperatures on the oceans? That would actually be uber cool...but herein lies a problem; the B Party has worked really hard at increasing heavy industry in my beloved country. They seem to want to build polluting smelters in every fjord, making aluminum for the "lovely" people at Bectel in Iraq (if it means staying in power).
I am starting to think that they believe the Kyoto agreement represents some sort of Japanese positivism. Surely it has nothing to do with the nature terrorism these people are inflicting on the inhabitants and environment of my little island. Is it possible that the B Party has a new strategy of fighting fire with fire? Minus and minus in maths makes plus... maybe the B class ideologists and nature lovers plan to pollute as much as the Kyoto agreement allows and then some more. Maybe the only way of fighting global warming is with fire and maths? Surely the minuses will turn into plusses at some point and then they can build their airport on those rocks.
Nah-- I just think they're silly buggers on a power high.
Pace!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Icelandic Politics: Part 1

I refuse to pester the non-Icelandic readers with the rantings on Ice-Pol. This entry will therefore be in Icelandic.
Stefán Jón Hafstein á fundi um Reykjavíkurkosningar og umhverfisvernd: "Ætlið þið sem sagt að vinna með umhverfisbófunum?"--Hér spyr hann fulltrúa Frjálslyndra og óháðra og umhverfisbófarnir eru Sjálfstæðisflokkurinn. Nú segi ég fávís kvensniftin með áhuga á umhverfisvernd: Stefán minn, þú hefur nú að mörgu leyti staðið vaktina í umhverfismálum fyrir hönd hins alræmda R-lista sem nú er aftur orðinn þrískiptur. Það er því gott og blessað að kalla D-menn umhverfisbófa en ég bara man ekki betur en þitt fólk séu nettir ef ekki alræmdir umhverfisbófar líka. Sjálf Ingibjörg Sólrún kaus með Kárahnjúkavirkjun á sínum tíma í borgarstjórn. Vissulega er frúin sú heillum horfin í höfuðborginni og því hægt að segja að R-listinn sé dauður og nýr Dagur sé runninn upp hjá ykkur Sandfyllingarmönnum, ég meina Samfylkingarmönnum. Hinsvegar, vil ég minna á að nýi leiðtoginn, skæra stjarnan og hjartaknúsarinn Dagur B. er svo mikill náttúruvinur að hann sat hjá í þessu mikilvæga máli.
Já, hver er eiginlega umhverfisbófinn? Kannski er umhverfisvernd í hugum S-manna í höfuðborginni bara að göturnar séu spúlaðar reglulega í 101 svo að Dagur og allir hinir grislingarnir geti spókað sig sólbrúnir og sællegir á kaffihúsum í atkvæðaleit án þess að anda að sér svifryki frá tættum nagladekkjuðum götunum.
Síðast en ekki síst verð ég bara að lýsa yfir undrun minni vegna framferðis og málflutnings frambjóðenda gamla R-listans. Þegar þetta lið kemur fram opinberlega og lepur ofan í kjósendur falleg loforð um hvað allt verði frábært í borginni þegar þeir/þau komist í meirihluta--já, þá finn ég gallið magnast í iðrum mínum og ég veit ekki hvort ég á að kyngja gubbinu eða hrækja því út (finn ekki nógu stóra fötu fyrir klígjuna og neyðist víst til að kyngja). R-listinn, hvort sem hann samanstendur af Alþýðubandalagi og Alþýðuflokki eða Samfylkingu, Framsókn og Vinstri grænum hefur verið við völd í borginni síðastliðin tólf ár. Hvernig dettur pótintátum þessara flokka í hug að lofa breytingum núna? Hver trúir því eiginlega að allt verði lagað? Allir þessir flokkar nota sömu afsökunina: Við neyddumst til að samþykkja allskonar bull frá hinum til að halda völdum... Hvers konar völd eru það þegar hvert klúðrið rekur annað og menn svíkja sína eigin samvisku trekk í trekk? Ég er að minnsta kosti búin að fá upp í kok af þessari samsuðu svikinna loforða. Ég gaf R-listanum atkvæði mitt einu sinni og svo aldrei meir.
Mér finnst að lokum alveg stórmerkilegt að VG-liðar séu búnir að fjöldaframleiða barmmerkið "Aldrei kaus ég framsókn". Ég verð að gera ráð fyrir því að allir vinstrimennirnir sem ganga stoltir um með þessa nælu hafi þannig aldrei kosið R-listann heldur. Ég á við, framsókn var jú hluti af R-listasamsuðunni og ég kaus hana einu sinni. Það þýðir að ég hef kosið framsókn og því get ég ekki gengið með þessa nælu í jakkanum. Ég verð því að gera ráð fyrir að vinstrimennirnir með næluna hafi annað hvort: a) Kosið samsuðuna og séu því nú bara að plata b) Skilað auðu í þeim kosningum sem R-listinn bauð fram c) Hafi kosið Sjálfstæðisflokkinn.
Lifi íslensk stjórnmál!

Friday, May 05, 2006

The misfortune of me

If Himmler was reincarnated, he would doubtless have bad karma. I think that's what karma is all about.. I mean, it's about paying the debts you left behind in a previous life. Former life evil doers become seriously unlucky people while former life good guys will have all the luck in the world. I am guessing that means that Gandhi reincarnated would be someone like Paris and Nicole, strutting around Rodeo Drive, with pooches named Tinkerbell stuffed in a pink Gucci bag. The only unfair thing about that scenario would be that he would still be suffering from self-inflicted starvation. Not for the greater good of mankind like in 1930s India, no not this time; it would be in order to fit his anorexic new bod into super expensive, but yet fabric-deprived frocks. I am ranting again aren't I? I seriously hate it when I lose my train of thought, "the next train to depart from platform Björk will be the one hour express to loonyland... All aboard".
Anyway, the moral of the story is not to wonder about Gandhi's life after death and I must stress that I don't wish him to be reincarnated as an anorexic and spoilt LA girl...shite, ranting again. I merely meant to discuss my own personal bad karma. My computer broke down and the folks at We-are-hacks-and-can't-fix-your-comp.com said they couldnt fix it (surprise surprise) and that my masters thesis was lost for all eternity. Then i gave myself a nasty case of the flu as a surprise birthday present. Finally, I hit my knee really hard on a sharp car thingy while exiting a vehicle. While jumping around on one leg, I managed to hit my big toe on a rock. Also, i forgot to buy a ticket to Iggy Pop's concert (to be read as: I am a broke student and couldn't afford to buy a ticket). Well, I think I have proven to myself that my karma is pretty damn bad. But then again, what do I know about karma, I am a sceptic and don't even believe in reincarnations, they simply don't make sense in terms of population numbers and then there's the question with the dinosaurs? Actually, sometimes I feel like some people around me have a brain the size of a peanut...maybe T-Rex is alive and well and reincarnated in the form of say an a politician... More on the karma recovery later...
Vaya con pollos

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