Adventures in an igloo

It's funny how quickly things change in a globalized world.

It seems like it was only yesterday that you'd see a young and prosperous looking guy in an Armani suit dashing down the street way to fast and his ride was not a white steed, nope it was an enormous silver grey Range Rover. At this sight you thought to yourself: "Oh wow, he must live such an exciting life and his house is probably amazing". You'd feel a bit jealous and wonder what the hell you were thinking: "Why did I go into humanistic stuff at Uni instead of buying a shitload of stocks and bonds and that kind of stuff.

Now, you see the same guy trying to get to social services on his last drops of petrol and you think: "Oh, that poor sod, I really hope he'll be OK".

Which brings me to a little story that according to my sources happened just before the crash.

A friend of mine was out and about the other day and met an old, old friend, someone she hadn't met in ages. This guy was super handsome, wore the most amazing suit, had a lovely tan (the kind you can only get by sailing in the Caribbean on a yacht) and a million dollar smile (compliments of a very good cosmetic surgeon no doubt as she could not recall him being so well teethed on their previous encounters).

Now, females know this but male readers may not realize that many women will create a mental image of desirable men in a split second and our heroine just happens to have a vivid imagination. In the first 10 seconds of the conversation, she'd courted her prince, married him in a fairytale wedding, built a beautiful house with a white picket fence and baked a shitload of birthday cakes for their extremely talented twin girls.

Her dream was shattered by the words: "And this is my wife..."

A split second later the prince and his horrible real life wife had torched the house and impaled the poor twins on the formerly white picket fence while the frosted cakes slowly melted in the heat from the burned remains of the dreamhouse.

What a cruel world it was indeed!

Our heroine's honour was restored yet another split second later when she found out that the prince was an investment banker. She noticed the tan was getting slightly old and looked at his wife with a new-found pity. She then wished the pair all the best for the future and sighed with relief while thinking to herself: "Pheew, now that was a close call!"