Adventures in an igloo

started (well caused is more accurate) the slow food movement and starred in movies such as Supersize Me has left the building, or country...

I suppose Mickey D's next movie, if they ever make one on my rock, will be called Downsize Me.

I'm sure gonna miss McShake and McFlurry and with this latest evil twist of the recession my hope of ever being able to walk downtown to get a double Mocha Frappuccino at Starbucks has been shattered.

Now, the only question remaing is: Since the PM, who opened our banks and other institutions that belonged to the nation to the "entrepreneurs" (reads criminals), took the first bite into a Big Mac on my rock back in '93, will he be available to also eat the last burger created by this multinational capitalist corporation this saturday?

That would be kind of sarcastic in light of recent history wouldn't it?

I think I did it last night, I really created a tropical feel up here in the north, sort of.

I went to work ridiculously early so that I could go home early and enjoy the rest of the sunny summer's day.

I did a wee bit of sunbathing in the midst of hundreds of lovely smelling roses previously planted by the mother unit- and naturally read Neil Gaiman's Graveyard Book- you need something morbid when the weather's this nice you know! I actually managed to create a lovely sandal mark on the skin of my foot, so I'd better just wear those same old smelly old sandals for the remainder of the summer- this would never have happened had I been traditional and worn socks and sandals!

Did I stop at this? Hell no! I threw some shrimps on the barbie, well actually, I don't eat shrimp and the A4 box of an instant grill can hardly be called a barbeque and I bet those coals were "fixed" as well, because the darn thing could barely barbeque one sausage let alone those lovely lambchops seasoned with birch, juniper and blueberries. So, I pretty much let them hang out on the barbie for a smoky flavour, because although the instant grill couldn't barbeque worth sh*t, it sure smoked up the neighbourhood! Then I completely cheated and put the almost uncooked lambchops under the grill in my oven, where the baked potatoes were, well, baking- don't tell anyone!

The best bit of the evening was however, the cocktails!
Those strawberry daiquiris and mojitos were just fab, with fresh mint from the garden! In the Republic of Bjork every day will be Mojito day and those mortars you're supposed to use to mix the lime, mint and demerara sugar just take forever so in my land, mortars use electricity, work super fast and are called blenders! Just remember to always use more rum than the recipe says and make at least triple the amount as the sun makes one thirsty.

Cheers!

If there's anything that will send me into the dreamland with a smile on my face it's a little 80s stroke of genius from my friends Thomas and Dieter. Naturally the special effects in the video are simply phenomenal!

This video actually brings back childhood memories about me getting money from my folks, taking the bus downtown and buying classic German culture magazines like Popcorn, Bravo and PopRocky (first and foremost for the stickers and posters- you wouldn't believe the immense cultural effect of stickers- very underrated indeed). I also think my marvellous German comes from "reading" such material from a very young age.

Anyway, back to the video:
Love the hair, love the clothes, love the drama, love everything!

Enjoy it all here.

Works every time!

Nobody likes going to the doctor's, except for maybe the odd masochist or the ladies looking to marry one (that is a doctor, not a masochist)...

Maybe it's due to the fact that pills are boring, really boring. Who wouldn't want remedies that have got a little more flair than pills?

So, that's why I'm sharing a nice cure for backache with you lot (this one's an old Icelandic one- so naturally it can't go wrong):

One of the most efficient cures when a backache is troubling you is to make a band of hair from a virgin or an "exceptionally good" person and then tie it near the back area. However, the best cure is to simply take an "unspoilt" virgin and tie her/him firmly to your back until the ache goes away.

The only problem in this day and age is finding a virgin or an exceptionally good person...

and I've got plans to drink at least 2 beers tomorrow, yes, my friends, two whole beers!

Due to that I'm going to share one of the ultimate party songs with you.

Enjoy!

You really really know that recession has hit your country when you notice that the cosmetics department of your local supermarket is promoting Old Spice as the new men's cologne of choice.

Well, it's either one of those wicked side effects of the financial crisis or you have accidentally turned back the clock and it's now 1962...

I've always been fond of soul. I love golden oldies from the likes of Fontella Bass, James Brown and Otis Redding. Although it's apparent from my dance moves that I don't really have soul, I nontheless quite value my soul.

You can just imagine in light of this information how petrified I am when it comes to the ever louder voices on my rock that demand Iceland become a member of the Europan Union.

You see, I stumbled upon a truth that's even stranger than fiction the other day about the EU's source of power. Ever heard of Beelzebub AKA Bubbles AKA the Devil anyone?

So children here's the story according to some cute little Christians of how a Babylonian Demigod hired a bunch of architects of destruction to build a brand new "design" Tower of Babel in Strasbourg (which means "Stinky Demons in Suits" in Mordorish).

Once upon a time there was a wicked oh so wicked little Babylonian god who really wanted to unleash a league of demons with suitcases and a gigantic papertrail, erm I mean tail, upon the world.

Anyway, he got buried in the desert as time went by but never stopped being a horrid little bureaucrat under the enormous pile of sand.

So one day a German dude shows up in the Middle East and excavates some stuff and brings it back home to Berlin.

Unfortunately that stuff was the Ishtar Gate AKA the Gate to Hell and Pergamon AKA the seat of Satan. Ooooops!

So a couple of world wars later which according to my sources, the Christian web pages, were started by our Babylonian devil, he decides to finish Europe off once and for all by founding the EU and thus really bringing the end of the world to our European doorstep.

The proof to this you may ask, well, the Tower of Babel in Strasbourg AKA the new EU Parliament Building and the naked broad (Europa) on the bull (the Beast) right outside that evil place and to add insult to injury she's also hanging out in front of the European Council Building in Brussels.

Does this seem farfetched to you? Well, it does to me too, but it's just so much more entertaining than tracing the EU's history back to the dead boring European Coal and Steel Community back in 1951!