Thursday, March 06, 2008

What's up with the news?


I read the news the other day and must say that it seems the people on this planet are slowly but surely becoming more or less crazy. When I was a kid the news revolved around Reagan and Gorby kissing each other Soviet style while keeping one finger on the red button, you know, just in case the kiss turned sour. Now that was a proper love/hate relationship if there ever was one.

Hey, what am I saying? People have always been more or less wacko, at least according to the news. Just as I wrote this, I remembered a newspaper from circa 1938 that a friend of mine found inside the walls of her house when she diligently renovated her crib. One of the stories, as I recall, was on a couple in Hungary where the wife had become a wee bit overfriendly with a member of the opposite sex- not her husband mind you. The hubby had done the only "rational" thing in the situation and chopped her nose off, just to let her know that he wasn't A-OK with her behaviour.

To be honest, I think that a plain: "Hey, wifey, cheating ain't cool and therefore I'm divorcing you" would have been more appropriate, but according to the newspaper the wife was thrilled with being noseless. She said something like: "Yup, cheating's been a real Achilles heel for me in the past and cheating on my nose-chopping hubby ain't right. Now, I'm seriously disfigured and can't cheat on my guy anymore, so it's all good". And they lived happily ever after...

However, I started thinking about all this stuff because I was reading the newspapers the other day and saw two stories that made the wacko alarm go off.

One, was on 600,000 people in New Zealand that signed some sort of list requesting that the government allowed them to spank their kids for "educational" purposes. Really, if you have to beat up your kids to teach them how to behave, then you shouldn't have become a parent in the first place.

The other article in the newspaper that caught my attention was on a Swedish bike lover. Yes, yet again a man was caught doing unspeakable things to a lady's bike. I'm not a lawyer so I don't know what the penalty is for dating a bike, but it's interesting nonetheless.

A friend of mine asked me the other day where she could meet single men. At the time I couldn't really answer her question. Apart from the obvious places such as bars and AA meetings (which she incidentally frowned upon: You don't meet nice blokes in bars and an alcoholic in recovery just doesn't fit her profile of the perfect man) so I was totally blank. Where the hell does one meet single men?

After reading the news I think I could give her pointers on where to meet single men...at the bike shop of course!
That is, if it's not generally acknowledged that a man who's dating a Raleigh bike is "taken". But then again, wouldn't a single girl not rather stay single than date a bike enthusiast?

Comments:
Snillibrill baunasúpa ;)

I had forgotten all about that perfect couple in Hungary! ...and since you brought it up I must clarify - the husband did not need any tools for the nose-job - he just took a juicy bite!

On the single-men-matter: I remember reading news a few years back about an American getting caught in a 'cozy situation' in a hotel swimming pool. He was 'innocently' swimming by one of the pools spout (where the water sucks out of the pool) and all of a sudden 'he just got sucked in'. He had to be rescued by the hotel staff as he got stuck in the spout with his swim-trunks at his knees.

Are swimming pools the place to meet single men? Or not?

lo fjú, Hillbill
 
Hmmm, the plot thickens. It seems that all the normal places to meet normal and healthy men are overrun by ab-normal men these days. I think I'll just tell my friend to go to an AA-meeting. At least then she'll know what she's getting herself into instead of "buying the cat in the bag" as we say on this rock.
 
Ok, I noticed two references that relate to me. Firstly, the smacking bill was incredibly divisive and, as drafted, is pointless. But if you cant smack a child for educational purposes then all meaning behind the saying 'I'm going to teach you good' is lost.
Secondly, I am a lawyer and the penalty for 'dating' a bike is dependent upon how serious the relationship is, lets just say anything beyond third base is, well, nose cutting territory.
 
Wow! I kind of got worried when I read your comment about you relating to 2 references; thought to myself: "Oh God, is he a child-bashing bike lover?" Needless to say I was happy to read further that you relate to kid-smashing laws because they were introduced in NZ and that the bike-loving bit appealed to you because you're a lawyer.
Good stuff man!
 
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