Thursday, November 08, 2007
They complete you!
That lovely TV miracle man, Dr. Phil, seems to have implied at some point that women need to have babies (or so I've heard...I mean would I watch lousy daytime TV?!). Anyway, isn't this the purpose of our existence, you know to have babies, watch the little angels grow and then after they've had babies, we can drop dead content and at peace knowing that our legacy or at least our genepool will continue to walk the face of this earth?
I beg to differ. Sure kids are cute but why do people think that there's something wrong with you if you don't want some of your own? Questions and comments like "Use your mother-instinct" and "You'll get it and feel fulfilled when you've got little ones of your own"... If there are two people in the room, a man and a woman- both childless, and also a kid that suddenly starts crying or doing whatever kids do...why is it that the childless woman is SUPPOSED to know what to do. I mean, don't men have "father-instincts"?
Let's look a little closer into the whole having kids thing.
Step one: You bring the little buggers into the world through your hmmhmm; they show their gratitude by having enormous heads- yippee!
Step two: They puke and poo all the time, who doesn't love stinky nappies, a tonne a day for say 2-3 years?
Step three: They start walking and talking which means that they'll break stuff in your flat (who doesn't recognize the joys of cheerios in the dvd player?)and throw tantrums in shops when they don't get what they want.
Step four: The school years...one would think they turn nice at some point but no, they still break stuff, throw tantrums and now you also have to answer to the school authorities when they behave like little bastards outside your home.
Step five: Puberty...A good one. The tantrums continue and now they also start stealing money from your wallet alongside throwing parties for their likes in your house when you're not home and let's not forget five finger discounts in your booze-cabinet, while trying to cover it up by refilling your priceless bottle of whiskey with some water.
Step six: The grown up years...If you're lucky they'll ignore you altogether, never visit you etc. If you're unlucky, they'll turn the tables on you and start parenting you financially, socially, the works. If you're really unlucky they'll lock you up in death's waiting room, a "foundation for the elderly" where other people's fully grown offspring will continue to push you around, regardless of whether you use a wheelchair or not.
Now, seriously, are you going to tell me that I'm crazy to lack motherly instincts and not wanting kids, or is it perhaps that people who've fallen into the parenting trap want you to suffer too?
# posted by Björkin : 3:50 PM
