Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Helping the Icelandic Secret Service
Historians have discovered that Iceland has had a secret service since the late forties. Apparently the conservatives founded this super secret foundation to spy on the lefties, you know just to be sure about when the reds were planning to start the socialist revolution. Incidentally, the leftist governments which have occasionally ruled this rock, were kept in the dark about this; it's not a good idea to tell the premier that some dudes were spying on his every move. How has this institution been funded you may be asking yourselves, since it's supposed to be a secret? Well, with government funding as in: one toilet for the state run wc downtown=1,000,000 crowns, one toilet brush for the ministry of foreign affairs=2,000,000 crowns etc.
I find this information most interesting and now I also wonder who are the biggest threats to this democratic country as the Soviet Union has been cut into a zillion Far-a-way-istan's. The answer is obvious; environmental activists such as myself. We are highly dangerous with our horrible herbal tea drinking habits and nasty songs about a "green" future and unpolluted rivers. I am pretty sure that the minister of justice and ecclesiastical affairs, whose world was turned around when the Cold War ended (if the bad Russkies aren't bad anymore, who am I going to play Bruce Willis Die Hard games with?), has realized this and is now using the secred police to spy on us evil greenies.
However, as I would feel a lot better knowing that government funds were spent on assisting single moms and the disabled citizens of this country, I have decided to help the minister a wee bit. So, the secret police doesn't have to tap my phone and spy on me anymore. I will write it down right here what I an enemy of the state have been doing.
Example:
Phonecalls yesterday:
1) Mom called and talked about her goldfish for about 10 minutes while I was trying to work at my office. This is not a codeword for a nasty demonstration, AKA Operation Urban Goldfish. Nope, she was really talking about her goldfish so the government seriously doesn't have to call in somebody from Stasi to decipher the conversation.
2) My friend Hildur called to tell me that she had a sinus infection and was staying in while the penicillin kicks in. This conversation was also a literal one. There was no hidden meaning and she's absolutely not taking sick days off from work to organize a coup to overthrow the government and replace them with some wheat juice drinking hippies.
Actions:
Took bus to work, did not try to convince the bus driver to join the revolution, honest!
Worked, nothing bad there.
Took bus home and cooked chicken soup. This action was highly dubious since the purpose was to freshen up the mother unit, so that she could join me downtown in a demonstration. Alas Mission Refresh Mother Unit was an absolute failure.
Went downtown to demonstrate against evil goverment and evil Bectel/Alcoa with around 15,000 other dangerous protestors. That is 5% of the population so I think the secret police should possibly hire more people to spy on all of us vandals.
Went home and watched back to back episodes of 24 before going to bed. Wondered whether our secret service was as potent as CTU and Kiefer Sutherland.
Must ask minister about this... http://bjorn.is/
# posted by Björkin : 3:19 PM
