Friday, July 28, 2006

A pacifist with a shotgun - just for fun

Well, now I’ve really gone and done it. My moral ground is crumbling beneath my feet. I went shooting yesterday. It was no ordinary pistol either, no B the pacifist chose a weapon fit for your average US crazy fundamentalist person, a real shotgun.
I had on silly earmuffs to protect my hearing, hah, little do they know that my hearing is so bad already that I really don’t need such accessories! My two officemates looked very manly while pointing the gun at flying objects and sending them to kingdom come. Oh, the testosterone was raging in their department!
I however don’t think I look hot with a shotgun. Those things are really heavy and difficult to handle. Apparently shooting is relaxing but I was preoccupied with trying to hold the thing steady and not shooting my toes off. I must say that I achieved my goal of not hitting a single clay pigeon, would have been a crappy pacifist if I had actually shot the thingies… Maybe I would have been more professional like with a petite ladies shotgun, preferably a tiny little pink thing with bunnies painted on the shaft. Wonder if such things exist, a Gucci Il Assassino maybe? Today I’ve got nasty bruises in the area the ladies are supposed to hold the shaft of the gun, which is the bra strap area according to my professional gunfighter officemate. Thank god I wasn’t wearing a strapless one, that would have been disastrous me finks. I don’t think my talent lies in the gunslinger field. I would be better as a knife thrower as I am decent at darts.
This brings me to a conversation I had earlier with a friend in a fix. We were discussing break ups and whether there is ever such a thing as good way of breaking up with someone without hurting their feelings too much. I honestly think that there’s no such thing I mean what do you say? “Darling, I’m terribly sorry but I really don’t like you that much so I am breaking up with you. Love that top, is it new? Oooh, lets go for ice cream!” Wouldn’t the world be great if it were that simple? I think in light of my latest experience that a break up in a shooting range is not such a bad idea. One can bring his partner there and while loading the weapon just casually bring it up. This way the dumpee has the advantage of a heavy duty weapon and can let his/her anger out by firing at the dumper. Yup, I think that’s it! And then when asked why you broke up with the other person, you can honestly say: “ What do you expect! That loony shot at me!”
One thing though, before using this brand new method of breaking up, for the love of god, make sure that the dumpee is as shite at hitting targets as I am!

# posted by Björkin : 12:06 PM
Comments:
við bíðum spennt eftir mynd af apamanninum. annars er sólin tekin að skína af miklum krafti hér aftur. verðum ábyggilega í apabúningi á ströndinni um helgina...
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 4:04 PM
 
hann verður settur inn um leið og ég dánlóda myndunum á tölvuna. hlakka mikið til að fá viðbrögð við "buxunum" hans!
Takk fyrir frábærar móttökur síðustu helgi.
# posted by Blogger Björkin : 2:12 PM
 
Hr. Heston biður að heilsa með von um að þú hringir sem fyrst - hann finnur hvergi riffilinn sinn...
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 12:50 PM
 
Já ha ha. Ég ætlaði einmitt að fara að stofna íslenskt brantsj af nasjónal ræfúl assósíeisjón. Þú verður varaskytta.
# posted by Blogger Björkin : 3:32 PM
 
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