Adventures in an igloo

Now isn't this special? The toddlers not only learn how to dance in a sexy way but also how to use their undeveloped sexuality to earn a little dosh. Why didn't they have this when I was a kid? I used to play with boring stuff like super annoying dolls that peed and cried (no wonder I don't have any kids) and miniture ironing boards (no wonder I only shop wrinkle-free clothes).

The stuff I enjoyed the most were my Playmobil knights and Lego's although I quite often played with Barbie dolls (that was mostly about dressing the blonde bombshells in ridiculous outfits that I designed from mum's strange looking fabrics from the time she actually did some knitting). Bloody hell, my parents should have caught on at that stage and realized that I would never become Betty Homemaker.

Who knows what could have happened had there been a Tesco store in Iceland when I was a kid; you know a store with educational stuff for little women. I might have become an exotic dancer with loads of money in my knickers (or do they come off as well when strippers erm strip?).

Yeah, the ever so friendly folks at Tesco's sure want to help little girls get over silly ideas of becoming academics and such. Academics aren't the right material for swinging their bums round and round while spinning less than dressed on a pole. I mean, in which hand would one hold Foucault and how can one read him while going in circles up and down...

I'm feeling dizzy already.

Recently we sank the largest wilderness in Europe to make electricity for Alcoa. Come on, these guys need energy for their aluminium factory in East Iceland, you know to smelt bauxite and make aluminium for tanks and weapons to kill more Iraqi civilians. The bonus feature of this destruction of nature (which our former minister for the environment said “It doesn’t look that special to me”) is pollution from the factory that equals all the pollution from every single car in the country. Ain’t it cool?

The latest venture in Icelandic stupidity is whaling. Yes, starting at midnight last night commercial whaling started again. The whaling boats are at sea now, waiting for a chance to harpoon these magnificent creatures, drag them ashore, gut them, vacuum pack and ship to Japan. Good luck with finding a market for the meat, according to what I’ve heard the Japanese are having difficulty selling their own products, but what the hell, it’s our god given right to kill and sell or worst case scenario give away or throw away the dead whales!

I am pretty sure the whalers will start with the “tourist whales”. Those are the curious and human friendly finback and minke whales that swim around the whalewatching boats. The whalers will chuckle and say: “No whalewatching this time sucka, it’s harpooning time”.

According to the pro-whaling people, it’s puzzling that the Icelanders have survived the last two decades without every household fridge carrying loads of whale meat. Yes, we sure have missed the fatty meat that we have to soak in milk before cooking to prevent foul smells that just seem to cling to every item of clothing and furniture for days after a whale meat feast! In addition only 1,1 percent of the nation actually eats whale meat, hmm, yup we sure have missed it…

Pro-whalers even say that whaling is an Icelandic aboriginal hunting tradition and that we should get the same treatment as the Inuit of Greenland who hunt seal for home consumption. So what if whaling only creates a handful of jobs and we then try to force the meat on the Japanese! It’s totally the same thing man! Plus, whaling by Icelanders started in 1948, everyone can see that it’s absolutely an aboriginal right to continue commercial whaling!

I suppose I am just as stupid to expect something greater of my fellow countrymen, after all we didn’t invent the wheel until the nineteenth century…

So, what can be done about this travesty? Well, some of the UK chains have said that they will seize selling Icelandic products if Icelanders start commercial whaling again. Why not put that to the test? I know e.g. that Tesco sells Icelandic fish. I am sure chains in the US have the same policy, Let them know that you will not shop at these stores until they cut out Icelandic products. To read more about this matter go to the BBC UK website http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/6059564.stm

The Icelandic nation has an inferiority complex and that breaks out in phrases like “Those foreigners in the big countries can’t tell us what to do. We will treat our natural resources as we see fit and screw the rest of the world where the clever people live!”
So what if we have the world’s strongest man (1984, 1986, 1988, 1990, 1991, 1994-1996) and the world’s prettiest women (1985, 1988, 2005), all of this is nothing compared to being undefeated long running world champions in immense stupidity. Now there’s a title for ya Iceland!