Thursday, September 11, 2008
It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine?
Well there we have it, another apocalypse, another disappointment- at least for those who want the world to end (Jehova’s Witnesses have been good at this in the past and of course the Hale Bop cult back in.. ’97 was it?).
I had my doubts about those über neutral people in Switzerland with their cuckoo clocks, predicting the exact time of Judgment Day. I also saw it as a sign that the cooking show I watched the day before the big day was Ainsley’s 50 Things you should eat before you die…Which reminds me: Fresh fish #1? Are these people nuts? No way fish would be my last meal on earth, no, it would be a hot fudge sundae or a banana split or a big, big steak.
Ok, I lost it for a bit there but back on the topic: I must say that if CERN managed to kill us off by accidentally creating a black hole, well it’s the slowest working black hole ever.
I just keep thinking about the poor sods who actually thought the world was really about to end. What did they do yesterday and what did they say to friends and foes?
I bet it was similar to the people who really buy into the whole: “My father was the cousin of the former president of a country in Africa and he had millions and billions in the bank and I need your help to get the money out so if you just send me all your bank info so that I can rob you blind, then we’re in business my friend…”
We’re talking about the same kind of person who actually believes that he’s the 156,789, 234 person online and has therefore won a gazillion dollars, just send some money first and then...
The same person that after reading his junk mail shouts YES and then goes to his boss and tells him: “You can take this job and stick it where the sun don’t shine- I’m rich!”
Yup the same person that comes crawling back the next day begging for a second chance, feeling a little embarrassed, hmmm.
You gotta love this type- and who knows, maybe they’ll be right one day and then the people in the spaceship hovering over the dark side of the moon, dressed in identical blue Nike’s will be the ones laughing…
I had my doubts about those über neutral people in Switzerland with their cuckoo clocks, predicting the exact time of Judgment Day. I also saw it as a sign that the cooking show I watched the day before the big day was Ainsley’s 50 Things you should eat before you die…Which reminds me: Fresh fish #1? Are these people nuts? No way fish would be my last meal on earth, no, it would be a hot fudge sundae or a banana split or a big, big steak.
Ok, I lost it for a bit there but back on the topic: I must say that if CERN managed to kill us off by accidentally creating a black hole, well it’s the slowest working black hole ever.
I just keep thinking about the poor sods who actually thought the world was really about to end. What did they do yesterday and what did they say to friends and foes?
I bet it was similar to the people who really buy into the whole: “My father was the cousin of the former president of a country in Africa and he had millions and billions in the bank and I need your help to get the money out so if you just send me all your bank info so that I can rob you blind, then we’re in business my friend…”
We’re talking about the same kind of person who actually believes that he’s the 156,789, 234 person online and has therefore won a gazillion dollars, just send some money first and then...
The same person that after reading his junk mail shouts YES and then goes to his boss and tells him: “You can take this job and stick it where the sun don’t shine- I’m rich!”
Yup the same person that comes crawling back the next day begging for a second chance, feeling a little embarrassed, hmmm.
You gotta love this type- and who knows, maybe they’ll be right one day and then the people in the spaceship hovering over the dark side of the moon, dressed in identical blue Nike’s will be the ones laughing…
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Taking environmentalism to the extremes
You are Poison Ivy---
You would go to almost any length for the protection of the environment including manipulation and elimination.
Ha! Who am I kidding- could I ever have been any other villain than Ivy, I really really hate environmental slobs with a passion...
Who are you?
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Jammin' again
I've been giving the meaning of jammin' a lot of thought lately and just when I thought that my jammin days were numbered, at least when it comes to old style jammin' it happened..
The old lady went out and painted the town red until 7 in the morning and on another occasion I only stayed out until 1 am but managed to listen to a lot of Thai and Polish karaoke including two skinhead types crooning a heartfelt tune about Warsaw. I even grabbed the mike and sang ABBA's Dancing Queen. I'm not sure whether the audience not clapping had anything to do with my and fellow friends' poor skills as karaoke singers or whether they were just too blown away by the sheer brilliance of the performance that they forgot to clap...
Anyway, during my way too long jammin' session I did some soul searching again. Hey, I am well aware that thinking while drinking and such multi-tasking is a bad thing but I nonetheless did it.
And what was I thinking about? Clothes.
Instead of enjoying the silence or rather lack of silence I gave people the evil eye especially those toting their cigarettes in my general direction. You see I recently bought a new gold coloured trench coat, the golden apple of my eye and I just happened to be wearing it that night on the town.
So, although I did enjoy the jammin' in many ways, I was mostly very busy worrying about cigarette holes and heavily drunken people spilling their blood coloured drinks on me and my lovely new clothing item.
One oldie and far from goldie did his own sort of crooning with ever so touching and original hehemm phrases such as: "I think I'm in love and that can be dangerous for a man my age".
Instead of feeling happy about the attention my only possible response to such measures that night could have been: "Look gramps, I'm in love with my new trench coat and if you come any closer with your nearly full glass of red, I'll show you how dangerous life can be for a man your age".
And I wonder why I'm still single, strange innit?
Monday, September 01, 2008
A very short note on Hurricane Gustav
I think it's pretty messed up to name a disaster after a Scando/Nordo when everyone knows how peaceloving, friendly and über-organized we are- what's next: Tornado Ikea?
